Updated: Dec 18, 2018
I’m a mom of 3 very small children.
On most days, I find myself with my hair piled up on top of my head, kind of hanging to the side awkwardly. On most days, I may or may not have on mascara, and I *might* have showered. On most days, the baby is probably only wearing a diaper and the older two are covered in finger paint and running around in the mud (but still alive at least).
On a good day, my hair gets washed and I wear eyeliner. I also wear real clothes (as opposed to my mom uniform- leggings and random shirt). On a good day, there’s food in my crockpot by 2pm, the kids all napped at the exact same time and I got a couple hours to myself to get a little work done, and my house doesn’t look like a tornado just swept through it.
On a bad day, I’ve spent some of the day crying because I just don’t feel like I’m cut out for this mom life. On a bad day, I’m really annoyed that our family lives so far away & I feel sorry for myself because of our lack of help. On a bad day, the kids don’t stop fighting, the baby doesn’t stop crying, napping isn’t a thing, and take out is most definitely what’s for dinner.
Then, if I’m really in the mood for making bad decisions, I pick up my phone and scroll through social media posts of seemingly perfect moms who just have it all together. We all know this is ‘perceived reality’, but it doesn’t always feel that way.
Does anyone feel me?
Sometimes this whole mom thing is actually super hard. The monotony of every day life can actually be super tiring (and make you feel like you’re in the movie Groundhog Day). It can be hard to see your vision and your purpose. It is also easy to fall into thought patterns of extreme thinking such as: “This is how I’m going to feel forever” or “I will never feel rested and relaxed again” or “That fun, spontaneous chick who was down for anything is now super lame and never sees midnight (unless it’s to feed a baby) and even sometimes wear’s a scrunchie.”
No scrunchie, just me?
Listen, I am beyond grateful for my children. I love them so much it actually hurts. I could not be more thankful for the gift of conceiving and carrying healthy babies. But once they come out and are actually breathing real air and need you to survive- guys it’s hard work! When I was younger and I thought about what I would be when I grew up, I didn’t exactly have the vision of constantly wiping runny noses, my body transforming into a 24 hour buffet line, crawling on the ground making animal noises, breaking up fights about who gets to eat off the blue plate, and singing Jingle Bells for the 473rd time.
But here I am. And you know what? I know I’m right where God wants me.
These verses point out the fluidity of life so well:
“There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the Heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.” Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
If you are also a mom of littles, and sometimes you just can’t see past the mound of laundry and dishes, please know this is a season. As you know, seasons come and go. Seasons do not last.
What stands out to me most in that verse is: a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing.
Right now, small children need to be embraced. They can hardly do anything on their own. They rely on us and need us for everything. This is our season to do that for them. One day, when they are grown, we are going to have to release them into this world, or, refrain from embracing. It makes my heart hurt a little to think of this day. It seems so sad to think of not being with my babies all the time. But this is the natural progression of life. This is what is normal and healthy and necessary.
Right now, we are in a time of embracing my friends. A time of pouring love into these tiny people, instilling them with truth, and raising them to be hard-working, loving, caring people who will make a difference in this world.
Right now, we have the gift of being able to embrace the chaos. Instead of trying to constantly make things a certain way and create this utopia of stress-free comfort, I want to embrace. I want to embrace today. This moment. This life. Because a day is coming where my life won’t look the way it does now. I’ll have my freedom back. I’ll have too much time on my hands. I’ll crave the sound of tiny feet running into my room to wake me up out of a deep sleep at an ungodly hour. I will wish I had piles of laundry with teeny socks (that never have a match) to fold. I will miss the constant messes. My heart will long for it to be like it is now.
Embrace, my sisters.
Even when we don’t feel super important, we are. And so is what we’re doing.
Self talk is important too. Say it with me!
I am amazing.
I am enough.
I’m freaking crushing this mom game.
I’m a kick @$$ wife.
I am so very loved and have so much love to give.
I will embrace the chaos.
I will embrace today.